Since my afternoon on the beach a powerful and steady joy has filled me. I feel happiness radiated through all the fibers of my being. Every now and then I try to imagine why I am feeling so much peace and then I just laugh at myself and surrender. Who cares! Maybe it was the ocean, or having passed a large hurtle in my career, or maybe it is simply a grace, a gift. So I am soaking up this inner sun and feeling in love with life for as long as this feeling lasts.

I think the unpredictability of this adventure, the heat and sweat and the playing under strange circumstances has exercised my surrender muscles, and I am sinking into a beautiful place soul that knows that I can trust my life, my destiny and the divine.

I think part of my craving to play solo is to know this place in myself, and now that I have discovered it on stage, I feel it radiating out into simple things like brushing my teeth, or admiring a strange light fixture!

This craving to discover my own soul may seem somewhat narcissistic (sp?), self indulgent, a passion for the self in love with the self. So I ask your compassion and forgiveness in this. I think in the process I have found and released piles of shame, regained trust, and played some good concerts too.

I wonder if life will ever be about something other than healing that great rift between our knowing and the divine. At least now when I feel the joy and ectasy of music flow through me, I will trust and love it, knowing that a part of me, like the gaurdians for the Buddha will be watching out, staying connected to this earth, watching my intonation and rhythm.

Walking to dinner today I saw a green tea beverage in the cooler. It’s label described the crux of my journey; “Heaven and Earth”.