A whirlwind tour of the Kings palace (where Anna the school teacher taught the king’s hundred or so wives English) and many golden Buddhas, large and small. The heat was almost unbearable, and I felt myself suddenly quite religious, because the inner sanctuaries were the most cool and shaded. As I was sitting in lotus position in front of the glimmering display of Buddha, surrounded by his protectors, offerings and sparkling adornments, I had a student of mine lean over and ask me if I “felt anything”. “It is just so glitzy”, she said. I will admit, the talking tourists and hyper tour guide (whose only remnant of a failed acting career is her melodramatic high pitched voice) did detract from the sense of sacredness and peace of the place. But even more than this, I thought about how different the smiling peaceful figure was to the image of a man pinned up to a cross with a crown of thorns digging into his forehead.
The truth is, I DID feel something. I felt a sense of radiant peace, if this makes any sense, or at least the sparkling awesome piles of gold, colors and mirrors encouraged me to surrender to the notion that such an experience is there for me whenever I ask. Even a year ago I would have thought this whole spectacle was absurd. But I liked the idea that here is this enlightened being who is revered and protected from harm by a whole host of creatures. Maybe I am just getting too old for all this “suffering equals spiritually goodness/ martyr” business
It made me think of my concert. The inner Buddha in me, for lack of a better explanation, sang out through my music, while meanwhile some part of my mind was busy driving away any thoughts or fears that would interfere with the focus and peace I needed in order to successfully offer my gift of music.
Of course, I know very little about Buddhism, so forgive me if I am extrapolating from an image. But when we kneel before a representation of something, it seems we take in that image deeply.
But maybe the jesus story has something there for me too.
Certainly performing can have an element of sacred suffering. And the ego strains under the heavy weight of fear of criticism and judgement.
Maybe my ego, if it doesn’t step aside, is nailed up to the cross bleeding with a crown of thorns. Crucified until the most valuable part of who I am can come forth.
Well, I never meant to get so philosophical. But the image of Buddha really impacted me, and my student’s innocent question.
On a lighter note, one of the camera guys overheard that we were going to a pharmacy and asked us to pick up some unlubricated condoms, if we found them. My friend and I were taken aback momentarily by the request, and slightly put off, (buy your own contraceptives, dude!) until he explained that they were for the microphone. evidently they protect against rain while allowing the sound to still be fairly decent. after recovering from the shock, we both joked about details of size and style, commenting on how he did have a rather LARGE microphone….
A very delicious ice cream bar here is called The Magnum Bar. So powerfully good and large it can blow out your brains, I guess? strange English phrases show up everywhere and create quite a bit of amusement. Equally amusing are the Thai desserts which are a whole assortment of colored jellied, slobbery, snotty, wormy things. If you are looking to play with your food, this is your chance!